You always here the common stage terrors; Terrible Twos, Three-nagers, Four-nados, and the Fearsome Fives, and nothing can prepare you ahead of those beautifully wild milestones!
Toddlers go through huge emotional stages, and sometimes the smallest thing, the wrong color cup, wanting a different snack, nap time, or just not getting their way, can turn into a full meltdown.
Just remember, they are learning all of these big emotions for the first time, it’s normal, it’s developmental, and it’s not a direct reflection of your parenting.
Littles are sponges, they absorb everything around them from habits, emotions, and especially reactions. Here are a few ways to help support us all as we tackle the tantrum stages:
- Stay calm (even when you don’t feel calm, take a deep breath and practice what you preach)
- Use gentle, simple words (Keeping an even tone and using incouraging words will make a bigger impact than blaming ones)
- Let them feel their feelings safely (see next bullet)
- Create space if needed (“take a break” is a great way for everyone to feel their feelings safely in their own way before coming back together for discussion)
- Talk once everyone is calm, not mid-storm (Think about your own emotion when someone is trying to tell you what you did wrong immediately after you made a mistake, give room for grace)
How we respond teaches them how to respond. They are learning, and so are we, together!
Remember, if you wouldn’t talk to your spouse, friends, family, or colleagues a certain way when you feel upset, then you absolutely should not speak irrationally to your littles. When little people are overwhelmed by big emotions, it’s our job to share our calm, not join their chaos.
When our littles are overwhelmed by big emotions, it’s our job to share our calm, not join their chaos.
